Why Does Everything Feel So Overwhelming? Understanding Anxiety, ADHD, and Everyday Stress
Have you ever looked at your to-do list and felt exhausted before you even started?
Maybe you have emails to answer, appointments to schedule, laundry waiting to be folded, and a few things you've been putting off for days. None of these tasks seems particularly complicated on its own, but figuring out where to begin feels like a task in itself.
Or maybe you're keeping up with everything on the outside, but mentally, you're running through a never-ending list of responsibilities, conversations, and things you don't want to forget.
Feeling overwhelmed is something most people experience. But when it becomes a regular part of everyday life, it can be helpful to understand what's contributing to it.
Anxiety, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and stress can all affect how we manage responsibilities, make decisions, and respond to challenges. Although they are different experiences, they can sometimes look similar or occur together.
Understanding those differences matters because what helps one person may not be what another person needs.
When Anxiety Makes Everything Feel Bigger
Anxiety isn't always obvious. Sometimes it looks like worrying, anticipating problems, questioning decisions, or spending so much time thinking about something that you struggle to actually do it.
Imagine needing to send an email.
You know what you want to say, but you start thinking about how the other person might interpret it. You rewrite it several times, question your wording, and worry about the response. Eventually, you decide to come back to it later.
The email itself may only take five minutes to write, but the anxiety surrounding it can turn it into a much bigger experience.
Anxiety can also contribute to avoidance. Putting something off may provide temporary relief from uncomfortable feelings, but it doesn't necessarily resolve the concern. The unfinished task may continue to occupy your thoughts, adding to your stress.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one evidence-based approach that helps people examine patterns of thinking and behavior that contribute to anxiety and other emotional difficulties (Hofmann et al., 2012).
The goal isn't to eliminate every anxious thought. It's to develop a different relationship with those thoughts so they don't have to determine what you do next.
How ADHD Can Make Everyday Tasks More Difficult
ADHD-related overwhelm can look similar to anxiety, but the reasons behind it may be different.
ADHD affects executive functioning, which includes mental processes involved in planning, organizing, managing information, shifting attention, and regulating behavior.
For someone with ADHD, the challenge isn't necessarily understanding what needs to be done. It may be figuring out how to begin, deciding which task takes priority, keeping track of the steps, or following through when something is no longer interesting.
Consider a task like cleaning the kitchen.
You walk in intending to wash the dishes, but notice the mail on the counter. You start sorting it, remember a bill that needs to be paid, look for your phone, and then realize you never finished putting away the groceries.
An hour later, you've been busy, but the dishes are still sitting in the sink.
This isn't necessarily a lack of effort or motivation. Difficulties with organization, attention, and task management are recognized features of ADHD, and research supports the use of structured CBT interventions to address persistent symptoms and everyday functioning (Safren et al., 2010).
For some people, having a detailed schedule is helpful. For others, an overly complicated system becomes another thing they struggle to maintain.
The most useful strategy is often one that fits how you actually function, rather than how you think you should function.
What Happens When ADHD and Anxiety Overlap?
ADHD and anxiety are separate conditions, but they can occur together.
Research has found that anxiety disorders are common among adults with ADHD, and overlapping symptoms can make identifying and treating each condition more complicated (Katzman et al., 2017).
Think about someone who regularly forgets appointments, misses deadlines, or struggles to keep track of responsibilities.
Over time, those experiences may contribute to worry about making mistakes, disappointing others, or forgetting something important.
They might begin checking their calendar repeatedly, mentally reviewing conversations, or feeling anxious whenever a new responsibility comes up.
In this situation, the person may be experiencing both executive-functioning difficulties and anxiety about the consequences of those difficulties.
A 2025 review by Fu and colleagues discusses the frequent co-occurrence of ADHD and anxiety disorders in adults and the importance of considering both conditions when developing treatment approaches.
However, it's important to recognize that not everyone with ADHD has anxiety, and not everyone who experiences difficulty concentrating or completing tasks has ADHD.
Similar experiences can have different underlying causes. Understanding when difficulties began, how often they occur, and how they affect daily life is an important part of a thorough clinical assessment.
And Then There's Everyday Stress
Sometimes the issue isn't ADHD or an anxiety disorder.
Sometimes you genuinely have too much going on.
Work responsibilities, parenting, school, relationships, financial concerns, medical appointments, and unexpected changes can create demands that are difficult to manage.
Stress can also affect the mental skills we rely on to get through our day.
A meta-analysis by Shields et al. (2016) found that acute stress can negatively affect working memory and cognitive flexibility. These abilities help us hold information in mind, adjust when plans change, and manage competing demands.
In everyday terms, this can help explain why you might find it harder to think clearly, remember information, or switch between tasks when you're under significant pressure.
You may notice that you're more forgetful, easily frustrated, mentally exhausted, or less patient than usual.
These experiences don't automatically indicate a mental health disorder. They may be signs that your current demands are exceeding the resources you have available.
And while coping skills can be helpful, they don't replace the need to examine whether your expectations, responsibilities, or available support need to change.
What Can Actually Help When You're Feeling Overwhelmed?
When you're already struggling to keep up, being told to "just get organized" or "stop worrying so much" probably isn't very helpful.
Instead, it can be useful to identify what is making a particular situation difficult.
Here are a few places to start:
1. Figure out where you're getting stuck.
Are you unsure what to do first? Worried about doing something incorrectly? Having trouble concentrating? Or simply trying to manage too many responsibilities?
The answer can help you choose a strategy that addresses the actual difficulty.
2. Make the starting point smaller.
Rather than telling yourself you need to clean the entire house, identify one manageable action.
Put the dishes in the sink. Gather the laundry. Clear one surface.
Starting small doesn't mean you're accomplishing less. It means you're making the task more approachable.
3. Stop relying on your memory for everything.
Calendars, reminders, written lists, and visual cues can reduce the amount of information you're trying to keep track of mentally.
You don't need the most elaborate organizational system. You need one you can realistically use.
4. Pay attention to avoidance.
If you repeatedly put something off, consider what happens when you think about doing it.
Are you worried about the outcome? Unsure where to start? Bored by the task? Exhausted?
Avoidance can have different causes, and understanding yours can help you respond more effectively.
5. Reevaluate what you're expecting from yourself.
Sometimes the solution isn't another productivity strategy.
It may involve setting boundaries, asking for help, changing a routine, or recognizing that you cannot reasonably do everything at once.
You are a person with limits, not an endless supply of time and energy.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy can provide an opportunity to better understand the patterns contributing to overwhelm and develop practical ways to address them.
For someone experiencing anxiety, that might involve learning to recognize unhelpful thought patterns, reducing avoidance, and becoming more comfortable with uncertainty.
For someone with ADHD, therapy may focus on executive-functioning strategies, realistic routines, task initiation, emotional regulation, and addressing frustration or shame related to ongoing difficulties.
For someone experiencing chronic stress, the work might involve identifying sources of pressure, strengthening boundaries, making changes to responsibilities, and finding ways to recover from ongoing demands.
Research supports CBT as an effective treatment approach for a range of mental health concerns, including anxiety disorders, while ADHD-focused CBT has demonstrated benefits for adults experiencing persistent ADHD symptoms (Hofmann et al., 2012; Safren et al., 2010).
Therapy isn't about creating a perfect routine or becoming someone who never feels overwhelmed.
It's about understanding what's happening, identifying what can change, and developing approaches that work for your actual life.
You Don't Have to Figure It All Out Alone
If you've been feeling overwhelmed, you don't need to immediately figure out whether it's anxiety, ADHD, stress, or some combination of factors.
What matters is recognizing how these experiences are affecting you and whether something needs to change.
At Integrated Healing Solutions, LLC, I work with children ages 10+, adolescents, and adults experiencing anxiety, ADHD, stress, and other challenges that affect everyday life.
My approach is collaborative, practical, and individualized. We look at what's happening, what you've already tried, and what might help you move forward in a way that makes sense for you.
Because sometimes the answer isn't trying harder.
Sometimes it's understanding why something feels difficult in the first place.
References
Fu, X., Wu, W., Wu, Y., Liu, X., Liang, W., Wu, R., & Li, Y. (2025). Adult ADHD and comorbid anxiety and depressive disorders: A review of etiology and treatment. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 16, Article 1597559.
Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 36(5), 427–440.
Katzman, M. A., Bilkey, T. S., Chokka, P. R., Fallu, A., & Klassen, L. J. (2017). Adult ADHD and comorbid disorders: Clinical implications of a dimensional approach. BMC Psychiatry, 17, Article 302.
Safren, S. A., Sprich, S., Mimiaga, M. J., Surman, C., Knouse, L., Groves, M., & Otto, M. W. (2010). Cognitive behavioral therapy vs relaxation with educational support for medication-treated adults with ADHD and persistent symptoms: A randomized controlled trial. JAMA, 304(8), 875–880.
Shields, G. S., Sazma, M. A., & Yonelinas, A. P. (2016). The effects of acute stress on core executive functions: A meta-analysis and comparison with cortisol. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 68, 651–668.